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Post by The Parbold Post on Jan 31, 2006 10:58:36 GMT
Have you ever wanted to pick the brains of Bristow? Now you have your chance!
Parbold's longest serving player will be answering all your questions over the next week. Add your question here and we will select the best one's and pose them to The Cherries one club man.
Maybe you want to know what he really thinks of Parbold's promotion chances? Or you may even want to ask about his life away from Alder Lane?
Post your questions here, and stay tuned for Bristow's responses.
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Post by Bristow on Jan 31, 2006 11:58:08 GMT
Gob shites, i never agreed too this scam. Im a very private person and i shall keep my thoughful opinions too myself, Nah not really i will be happy to answer all questions. Before anyone asks, Ian (29 y.o. virgin) MacKenzie has the smallest cock in the team.
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Post by Journeyman on Jan 31, 2006 12:29:49 GMT
Dear Mr Bristow,
Bearing in mind you have been at Parbold for since before World War I, could you please let me know how may goals you have scored for the club?
Given the extraordinary lenght of time you have been with PFC I am guessing you must have about 30 career goals at the very least.
Yours in sport
J. Ourneyman
xxx
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The Alder Lane Head Hunters
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Post by The Alder Lane Head Hunters on Jan 31, 2006 12:40:06 GMT
Mr Bristow
In your opinion, who is the biggest pussy at the club?
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Post by Jemima Puddleduck on Jan 31, 2006 15:27:34 GMT
Dear Uncle Bill,
Who in your opinion has the best harcut?
Lupton or Noble?
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Post by Bristow on Jan 31, 2006 20:12:58 GMT
In my 12 years at Alder Lane i have scored just the 1 goal ( a cracking 35 yard drive), but i must be 100+ in key passes or assists (for our Canadian friend).
The buggest pussy at the club is Neil Hardman, he gets injured in every single game, but it doesn't help that he is anorexic. He is also damm ugly but always gets stunning birds a mystery which always irritates me.
The best hairstyle has got too be Noble's. Dyed blonde streaks, gosh he is so camp.
Fattest at the club is Mr I.R.Mackenzie, weighing in at an amazing 18 stone. Mr MacKenzie also holds the record for the fastest time ever too eat a portion of chips (from nob-hill chippy) 1 minute 17 seconds.
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Post by Spam Balls on Feb 1, 2006 9:12:36 GMT
Concentrating on the 'lesser' MacKenzie, Paul. Do you think old Sponge Knees deserves a place in the side with his constant mysterious 'injuries' that tend to occur after a night out?
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Pandoras sweaty box
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Post by Pandoras sweaty box on Feb 1, 2006 12:44:59 GMT
Billy, in what some people percieve as a pointless career, can you clear up and tell the fans just how many winners medals you have ammassed during your long, drawn out time on the pitch?
If you can't answer that, then tell us about any other accolades you have recieved away from football.
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Post by Three Bites on Feb 1, 2006 13:37:04 GMT
Mr Bristow
as the clubs top statistician? Can you let me know what the most goals in any one game a Parbold player has scored in, and also if they received the man of the match award for this. Can you also let me know how many Parbolds records I hold or have broken and if you believe I should make rimmers all time 11.
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Magnus ver Magnusson
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Post by Magnus ver Magnusson on Feb 1, 2006 13:52:08 GMT
Dear King Billy, What is your biggest footballing disappointment in your 12 years at the club? Ta  |
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Post by Dic Tionary on Feb 1, 2006 16:11:32 GMT
Bristow,
Who has the worst middle name in squad?
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Post by Bristow on Feb 2, 2006 12:31:34 GMT
Paul MacKenzie is currently going steady with a new chick, he misses a vital cup game cos he stayed at his girls watching Bridget Jones. Apparently he is also too miss the L/pool v Arsenal game on Valentines night cos she wont let him go !
I dont really want too talk about my medals collection, but an honour that i have won is best legs in Royal Mail Kirkby 1998, 1999, 2001.
As for Mr Heeley, well the most goals in a game was 7, scored by Paul Dahl in a 10-1 romp (26/10/03). Yes he did get man of the match. I do consider you too now be a Parbold "hall of fame member". A record you have broken is most hattricks scored in a season, but Gary Quinns 21 season tally still eludes you.
My biggest dissapointment has too be the signing of "work shy" David Molehill (sorry Mullville). The signing of this mature student is a major step backwards for the club.
And finally worst middle name has too be Stewart Patrick Furlong although Ian MacKenzie as a youngster insistsed on us all calling him Ronny. This was because he tried (and failed) too become a Rosenthal lookalike.
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Post by furlong on Feb 2, 2006 12:50:18 GMT
Can I just say that my middle name is actually Paul. Albert still holds the mantle of worst/funniest middle name!
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Just For Men HR Division
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Post by Just For Men HR Division on Feb 2, 2006 14:54:08 GMT
Mr Bristow
When was the last time you saw Dave Noble with 'natural' hair?
We here at Just For Men (the hair colour place, although the gay magazine of the same name also want a contract with the blonde full back) would like to offer Dave a two year contract to sport the latest hair colours.
Do you think he would go for it?
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Post by Mrs Bristow on Feb 2, 2006 15:47:06 GMT
Mr Bristow
Can you tell me if infact you are homosexual. We have not had sex since Dave Mullville joined your 'beloved' cherries.
I am wondering if the sight of him in a tight football shirt-come-tank top finally made you accept your true feelings?
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