penalty

[gavin]

hi guys!im gav,i play up front for highfield grange reserves and just wanted to say im looking forward t coming up against you tis weekend.i believe you have a player who gives away a penalty every other game so id just like to let you know that i am number 9,please feel free to fell me in the box

thanks

[PFC]

Hi Gav

Thank you for your interest in our club.

In response to your question, yes we do have a player who enjoys giving away penalties. I am sure if you make yourself known at the beginning of the game (with a name like Gav I am sure you have shit spiky hair so it shouldn't be difficult) then said player will ensure you get plenty of opportunities of dead ball situations.

The only downside is that you may not be on the pitch to take them (his tackling is erratic you should know).

Lots of love, hugs and kisses sweetcheeks.

[Gallas]

Well its obviously not Rimmer you're talking about as he's not here every other game!

Gav you spiky haired queg! (I only wish he really existed!)

PFC - erratic tackling? You clearly do not know the art of good tackling! If we are talking about erratic tackling - I think we better start looking in Mugsys direction not mine!!

[Nelly]

Tizzer mis-time a tackle ? U must be joking

It doesn't help that he pulls his shorts up so high

He is officially Parbolds gay icon now i think.

[Gallas]

Nelly?? Who is this Nelly?

Oh sh*t yeah I remember you now......you're the bag of bones who CRIED his eyes out on the pitch one time!

I think anyone who actually sheds tears on the pitch is in no position to comment on gayness!

Also just to compound your gay factor - have you actually been carried off the pitch by our goalie? Yes. Give me an F - F, give me an A - A, give me a G - G.....what have ye got? FAG!!

There's only one gay in Parbold Village Nelly! Take a long hard look at yourself!

[Whitleys PortoRican Striker]

5 o'clock?

[pedro]

no