Paul Mackenzie retires

[rimmer]

I'm sure there'll be a few jibes over the next few days and weeks, rumours of 'faked injuries' or 'outside influences', but in all honesty I'll take them on the chin and walk into the sunset.

I'm afraid my left knee is still swollen three weeks after I last played. I played for maybe 40 minutes, not really doing any great running (no surprise there) and I couldn't move properly for a good week anyway. This is after playing two weeks previous for 20 minutes, and then missing the next game because my knee was fucked.

I'll have to call it a day, playing on a Sunday means I'm fucked until Thursday, and that's without playing for more than 30 minutes or getting tackled badly.

So that's it for me I'm afraid, sorry and gutted to say, but I just can't play regularly, or for very long, without doing myself damage.

Statto - could I ask for a final run down of my career statistics?

Let the ripping begin.

[Gallas]

Afternoon Paul

First, the serious business....I don't see any smiley faces in that post of yours? Explain.

Also, tell me you haven't retired from the forum and it is just actual matches you have retired from! Who else am I gonna pick on!!

As for your retirement....well it is a good 2 years overdue! (Sorry couldn't resist one last one! )

On a personal level I'm gutted because clearly our goals against column is shoot up dramatically now without your box to box presence & blanket protection of the defence in the side! The easiest position on the pitch just got a little bit harder! Damn!!

Nah seriously....if your knees are that shot then you do need to pack it in. Ta for lettin us know, I'd rather people were up front like this rather than not turn up and the rest of us not know whats going on so happy days. Enjoy your retirement codger!

[Dr Hilary Jones]

What is it with both Maca's having dodgy knees ?

Dr Hilary here thinks it is that they are both carrying too much weight around their waist's, and therefore putting too much pressure an their stumpy legs. Also throw in the mix their lack of hair and small genitals and you have all round deadbeats.

Thank you.

[pearce10]

RIP paul,retire the shirt i say(number 14)
i trust you will still come to cheer/barrack/mock/pity us....understandable if you dont bother for the aways but surely the odd home game to boost your spirits.in all honesty paul its a sad day,the kirkby connection continues to fall away whilst the netherton massive grow in strength....i for one WELCOME our new leaders and pledge my allegiance....VIVA NETHERTON,VIVA LA REVOLUTION!!!!

[threebites]

Paul,

I thought you had already retired or the Netherton crew had retired you?? Seriously you will be sadly missed but swollen knees don't sound good.

Good luck in your house husband role

[rimmer]

I'll be there for games, mostly to advise my successors in 'how to look like your doing OK when actually you're doing very little'. An art I like to think a mastered.

My only regret is that Gallas was my final captain. A poor ending to a long line of greats.

Brennan, Woods ( ), Duffy - they roll of the tongue.

Tirrell - he just rolls. ;D ;D ;D

[Carlsberg aka Liz Pauls missus]

Paul - you ar*e licking little sh*t, what have I told you!! Get off that computer now. You best not be talking to those losers from that soccerball team you used to play for!

If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times - you are not to speak to them again and you certainly won't be going to watch them again either! Soccerball or whatever you call it is for losers and scally ruffians - you know we don't associate with people like that anymore! I thought you were going to use your perfectly good knees as an excuse?

This playing football on a sunday thing used to ruin my weekend but now we've got better things to do on a Sunday like going to B&Q (you can never do too much gardening don't you know!) or going round to my mothers for cream tea & scones! Oh jolly hockeysticks - Im so giddy with excitement!!

Now get back where you belong gimp - under my thumb in case you were wondering - and do not move again unless I say so! Which I won't! Otherwise I might have to get my strap-on out! Then again I know how much you like that no matter how much you protest!)

Carlsberg don't do forum posts but if they did.....this would probably be the best forum post in the world!